When does a sanctuary become a cave, and vice versa? Well, let's look at the differences.
A sanctuary is where one rests, rejuvenates, and relaxes. It's a place of peace. Like my bedroom, which is done in the shabby chic style, lots of airy white with greens and blues and touches of pink and has sunlight and daylight and sunset light pouring in all the time.
A cave is where one retreats to wrestle with matters of the mind, heart and soul. It's a dark place, whether literally or figuratively. Like my bedroom, which is not literally dark except at night. But figuratively? Couldn't have a better, deeper, darker cave and I've been in many a cave in this lifetime.
When my last job ended two days before Christmas, I was shattered. There was an element of relief, knowing I wouldn't have to deal with the dreck any more, but the pain, the shattering into a thousand pieces, overwhelmed everything else. That's what happens when your entire life changes in a split second. (Truly? No one should ever have to wake up on Christmas morning with tears pouring down their face even before waking.)
Cave and sanctuary: My room folded itself around me and let me just be ME. The healing process began and continues, the letting go of that day and the eight years leading up to it began and continues, the reorganization of my life began and continues, and the transformation began and continues.
One mentally ill man came through my workplace on his bike and said in passing, "Life's a funny old thing, isn't it?" It is. It really is. And if one takes that perspective, then everything sorta kinda falls into place.
I've been laying down the groundwork for the next segment of my life's path. Life goes on. I have family and freelance work and other matters that make up my life; the world didn't stop just because my path hit a very large roadblock. And I'll be making some very exciting announcements in the near future as my dream gets off the ground!
There are those of you who have been beyond supportive: my Milwaukee "twin," my fellow reader and Pal, my fellow sojourner who absolutely believes in my dream, my daughter who also learned the pain of losing a job, my two sisters (especially the one who opened her arms and just held me on Christmas Day), and my mother. Where would I be without any and all of you?
I'm back on my life's path and I'm moving forward, wherever it leads me. The sunlight feels great!